Dear CBC : you are my only hope, my memory does not deserve constant online slurs from the non-mainstream media. Yes I shot and burned animals alive, but a body count does not tell the whole story.

Dear CBC : I abused animals but I have some excuses I have made up. 

The above statement was submitted to Canadian Broadcasting Corporation and released unedited, in the the interests of Political Correctness, Woke-Ness and the Cancelling of Burdensome Content ...

Err : actually it wasn’t.

But if Gabriel Wortman had instead used pets as a weapon, swinging them about at the end of a chain instead of just burning them alive, he might have got into the CBC — if his excuses were creative enough, Woke enough, PC enough, Cancel Culture enough....