COVID-19 now believed to have originated at NS legislature, genetically engineered by opposition MLAs

pronounced “CON”

TRIGGER ALERT : if you are still breathing, dear Nova Scotia taxpayers, this story might cause severe heart palpitations ...

“Opening up the NS Legislature and allowing committees to meet, would put the entire world in grave danger - starting an even more deadly Second Wave of Covid-19”, Premier McNeil informed a startled TV audience yesterday.

He put the situation at DEFCON 2 - the only thing more deadly, said the Premier, is the possibility of a full and fair and open public inquiry on just what my family’s many police members were doing/not doing while the violent Gabe Wortman skated seamlessly through the policing system in NS for three long decades.

That would be DEFCON 1.....