QAnon’s highly graphic fears, together with Vaseline, provides fast fast relief for repressed Christians

Oooooh - what QAnon-believing Evangelical woman won’t want to be abducted  & abused by this Hollywood Liberal film star ?

Relax, people : QAnon is just the latest in several centuries of Christian Porn, created to allow repressed Christians to enjoy their most wicked sexual fantasies, in vivid and lengthy detail, while waxing righteous outrage against it.

I worked in enough Christian bookstores to see just what evil conspiracy fantasies popped up time and again ——- and which evil fantasies never did.

No American Christian is ever likely to write, let alone read and secretly enjoy, a real life conspiracy expose that involves Christians abducted and forced to buy consumer items at outrageous prices or work outrageously long hours in unsafe conditions for well under minimum wage.

Those are left wing  socialist fears and American Evangelicals worship the making of money (by charging too much and paying too little) to the extent that would totally enrage Christ, whose Red Letter talk never once had anything positive to say about money-making.

No Christian Evangelical conspiracy expose bestseller is ever likely to reveal good Baptist ladies being abducted and forced against their will to make, and eat, endless amounts of rich creamy sweet desert treats.

Or forced, against their will, to eat nothing but highly processed food, made overseas —- that is an environmentalist’s conspiracy fantasy.

Nor are we ever likely to hear about a best selling conspiracy expose which reveals how scores of good Christian couples were abducted to a fabulous resort where they were forced to enjoy vanilla sex all day between man and wife, interrupted only bible group discussions and delicious meals cooked by someone else on fabulous dishes and table clothes, cleaned by someone else.

No, all QAnon conspiracy exposes, like all their earlier kin dating back to the rise of Gothic novels in the mid 18th century, are variants on The Story of O.

Good Christian women are abducted and forced to do unspeakable sex acts in dark dirty dungeons, on dark dirty bed sheets, while their husbands are forced to watch helplessly. Occasionally, this is interrupted while the wives are forced to watch helplessly as their good Christian husbands are forced to do unspeakable sexual acts, on dark dirty bed sheets.

Christian Porn is very much like Secular Porn.

 Yes, in secular porn, the Godless women (paid actresses) are always willing and indeed eager to be abused in the worst way by the males. However, in fact - act surprised - this is a fantasy.

In Christian porn, the female Christian victims are definitely unwilling to perform bestial sex and fight it all the way. But this, too, is a fantasy : if it wasn’t - why repulse your Christian Faith by reading it?

QAnon has simply updated the ancient formula that made Rudy Valentino‘s THE SHEIK such a perennial pantie-warmer throughout white protestant middle America.

To recap, THE SHEIK allowed former slave-owners and their kids to re-invent themselves as the white victims of dark-skinned enslavers : the old trope of White Slavery, with the added bonus that they could enjoy dirty sexual fantasies while still raging against evil darkie enslavers.

A potent formula, but at the bottom as much a fantasy as secular porn’s fantasy that all women are always willing to debase themselves at a moment’s notice to please men...